Ben Holub (arguile) wrote in xxscrewxscenexx,
Ben Holub

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Once upon a time there was a man, and this man liked to do things that were a bit strange. He'd dress up as a paper clip and walk around asking people advice everytime they showed even the slightest hint of doing something wrong. He would then spring out of nowhere and just give his advice on the problem whether or not you asked for it. The only way you could get rid of this man was to outstretch your index finger and repeatedly poke him until he gave you the option of removing him from your sight. This man's name... was (fuck, did they ever name the paper clip in Microsoft Word?) Paper Clip.

Does that sound a bit familiar to anyone else? Can you think of any other people in society who will give you their opinions on something you don't care about, regardless of whether or not you ask for it? Paper clips are thin... can you think of any other social circles who are ridiculously thin and wear clothes that show it? Unless you're thinking of indie supermodels... you'd come to the conclusion of only one thing besides your mother. SCENESTERS. I believe that the scenester movement was started by Bill Gates, and that it should be the duty of this community to overthrow Mr. Gates and all of his tri-zillion dollar glory. VIVA LA REVOLUCION!

Anyway, that was just an aside.

I'm realizing more and more that nobody in this goddamned community looks like what their pictures show. Me? I'm actually a three-foot tall asian man (ask anyone who's met me. if they say any different, i'll bite their fucking knee caps) who likes to break dance and occasionally DDR. How about we all post updated pictures, eh? That'll get you crazy LJ kids going. I bet you all have about 10,000 pictures of yourself cluttering up your "My Pictures" folder that you were just going to sporadically post in your LJ or MySpace account until you eventually racked up enough friends or Mbps that your server shut you down. So let's put those to use! Get those pictures out into the public! (or at least as close to the public as the four people a day who read this are)

If you don't comment to this post or post a picture of yourself in a subsequent post, I will murder you in your sleep. You don't think I know where you live? hahaha. You're sorely, sorely mistaken. I am Ben Mother-Fucking Holub. I know all, bitches.

Commander Ben, signing out.
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